Also, I didn’t want to address your request for opinions about whether you were right or wrong in that last response, but just know that YES, I think you did the right thing (it’s not really a “right” or “wrong” situation, though…you would not have been wrong to take him in, either.)

I cut contact with my father for many years after I became a mother. And even when I allowed him back into my life, I still housed the kids and me away from his home when we would visit my family, because it was really important to me that my kids not be given the opportunity to “learn” the coping skills I had to learn to get by as a kid.

It comes down to looking forward; you have children to protect the way he should have protected you. You can have compassion for him and his situation without sacrificing yours and your children’s well being by bringing him into your home.

Maybe coming from dysfunction, you feel guilty for setting healthy boundaries.

DON’T.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know I want it to be spelled right and punctuated correctly. I guess that’s something.

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