Ahh, I too have done radical acceptance work, and I understand. When my brother blew up at me a couple of years ago, he went off about how I needed to quit blaming my dad for all of my problems (didn’t really have any problems at the time, and dad and I were just fine…not that my brother asked. He was pulling up really old shit I’d long since worked through and had never brought up with him, in any case.)
But I told him, I have let go of anything I was angry at dad about. If dad and I have a problem now, it’s because of something that happened NOW. It’s the same stuff because he hasn’t tried to change his behavior, but it’s not something from 20 years ago, it’s something he’s done today. .
People have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness (or letting go), and the fact that it only really works retroactively lol…but we do get to a place where we are able to accept the way things are likely to always be and to choose not to allow those things to continually rewound us. :)
Cool. I just wanted you to know that if you needed to, you could.